Why Marmots Suck
Posted on Thursday, August 30th, 2007
Sure, most people think marmots are cute but we all know that in reality, there is a sinister air about them.
They love your food, and they will do anything within their power to steal it from you. Don’t you ever wonder why some marmots are so goddamn fat? And if you think that food is the only thing the little bastards want to steal, think again. Same goes with your sweat soaked shirts or hats. The little kleptos love those. I’ve had the pleasure of getting not only a shirt stolen by one, but a hat as well. Probably by the same little f**ker.
So not only does their thieving ways annoy the hell out of me, WHY THE HELL DO THEY MOVE THEIR TAILS LIKE THAT! I mean, is there some sort of mathematical formula that calculates the seemly random back and forth, up and down movements of those stupid furry tails of theirs?
And, have you ever seen a marmot look at you, it’s almost like they’re giving you a stupid arrogant smirk. Think about when someone asks George Dubya a question he can’t answer, he gives a completely unrelated answer and then flashes that stupid smirk. It’s the same smirk that marmots flash to you all the time.
So this leads me to wonder why the french fur trappers almost wiped out the beaver population? They could have easily went after the marmots. I mean, beavers? Come on! They stay away from you, they’re quiet and keep to themselves. They can build a house like it’s nobody’s business. Sure they might chew down a lot of trees, but give ‘em a break. You’d be chewing the hell out of some trees if you had some big dumb front teeth that wouldn’t stop growing.
Plus, some college liked beavers so much that they named their mascot after them. You don’t see any college footballs teams screaming “Marmots, marmots, marmots!” and then flashing that stupid smirk. Of course not. So to sum it up… it’s simple. Marmots Suck.
Hey!! Thank god someone had the courage to stand up and talk smack about Marmots!
I hate those damn ass phones too. WTF.
I think marmots are cool.
i just found out i have one in my yard…dont know how to get rid of it yet…
you suck marmotophobe
dude you guys are all trippin marmots are wondeful creatures and deserve so much more than to be ripped at
theyre almost extinct and … theyre so godamn cute i mean comon !!!! grow up and except it for what it is
i bet ur all much worse
anyways i just wana say marmots rule and you can all lik my snail
I love marmots <3
i c them every year when i go skiing in spring. i dont know how u can hate the cute furry things but i guess dats ur opinion so o well.
Dude…totally agree with you. I work at a doctors office and we have had 2 people have their electrical chewed up by the little buggers. Both cars totaling more than 1200. in repair!! Trap them…Kill them…I don’t care…they just need to be gone forever!
dont be so mean to marmots….
Marmots rock and I think the marmot-hater who typed the initial post three years ago needs to get a face punch.