My Broken Elbow
Posted on Monday, February 18th, 2008
Lying in the hospital bed in Revelstoke, BC with broken elbow that looked like a Popeye arm, I clung to the slight chance that I could keep skiing in British Columbia, Canada for the remaining 27 days of my month-long trip.
But as it turns out, my hope was shattered along with my joint. The nurse told me that because of poor circulation to my hand, I had to be operated on as soon as possible.
In survival mode, I was not yet really depressed but in shock, hoping to awake from the terrible nightmare.
I had big plans for the winter and had been patiently waiting in Arizona until I could express my true self through telemark skiing. In mere seconds, that changed. I was injured and heading home, a few weeks into the season and three days into a trip of a lifetime.
Earlier that day …
The snow was ridiculously deep and I was psyched to be skiing in BC. I was a bit frustrated with the pace and organization of the first few days of the trip and just wanted to ski some lines – plain and simple.
After stomping a line with a 20-footer and a deep powder landing, I scoped out another one with a 30-footer at the bottom. I visualized that sweet line over and over again until I was ready to flash it.
I dropped in and immediately cut out to my safe zone as the top layer of snow slid over cliffs and into the valley floor. I was skiing immediately after the small avalanche passed me, picking my way through a few landmark trees, past the rocks and toward the final “goal post” air.
At that moment, I hesitated, debating whether to exit out my escape route or continue with the line, a split second discision and I was airborn, flying perfectly toward my deep landing.
CRACK.
SMASH!
“Oooowww!!!!” The landing was hard, not deep. Not soft.
My elbow hit a lurking rock and shattered. And that was it.
My BC trip was over and I was heading home for surgery and bed.
The emotional rollercoaster ride that started soon after the accident may have been blessing in disguise, another lesson in life, but it was very difficult to see the positive and often left me lost, confused and depressed.
What was I supposed to do now, I thought. Skiing is my way of life, it’s what I do, it’s my job. I had been waiting, training and dreaming all year for this trip, for these few months when powder pours from the sky, for another opportunity to push and express myself.
It’s a dangerous game we play and I know the consequences of what I chose to do.
When skiing and pushing my limits, I truly feel alive. I feel comfortable and at peace in this vast world.
Mountains, snow and skiing are my roots, this lifestyle is my culture. I would rather experience life to the fullest through skiing as a way of exploring the mountains and go down doing so than never really understand the essence of living and being.
So, onto the disguised blessing:
This accident has given me a deeper look into the risks involved with what I do. As I am resurging from my time out, from healing, I am more motivated, inspired and stoked than ever to get back in the mountains and charge.
Despite my downs, I am thankful for the path my life leads including every injury and every success. This accident and surgery has been nothing short of a “rite of passage:” a ritual or ceremony signifying an event in a person’s life indicative of a transition form one stage to another.
As in rituals of old, there’s a parallel to my surgical event in that it plucked me out of my daily routine, my normal ritual of skiing everyday and took me to a foreign place where I had little control.
When humans experience such states of being, we then have the choice to resist the current or to surrender our fate to a higher power.
My everyday ritual of buckling up my boots, putting on my helmet and focusing all my energy into skiing was instantaneously transformed into a surgical ritual, a rite of passage.
As a Zen teaching says, “In this life, pain is inevitable- suffering is optional.” And now I’m back and stronger for my pain.
Cloudveil ambassador Nick Devore is a badass tele skier.
wow Nick! Sucks to hear about this injury, especially at the start of an epic trip. Given the snowpack here in Utah, we’ll be skiing well into June this year. Gotta think positive, right?
UGhhh Dude thats terrible, Did you get all your mobility back in your elbow? I broke my elbow and 2 wrist bones when i hit a pot hole riding my bike down hill and i still can not extend it all the way out. But man that looks nasty!