Day eight outside the Cloudveil offices:

Truck back in the Antler parking lot, elk still dead.

Scene outside the Cloudveil offices in Jackson the last two days (parking lot of the Antler Motel).

(Nearing the highest point in Virginia.)

I doubt that I am the only one who does it, but I never really asked to be sure. So, I am going out on a limb here, and risking being known as a big wimp by individuals across the country. When I am hiking, I have the tendency to think that most every sound I hear is one of two animals: 1) a bear, or 2) a mountain lion.

I say most every sound, because let’s face it: It’s hard to mistake the chirp of the chickadee as a bear. I haven’t had a run-in with either predator yet, so I am not really sure why I do this. It could be movies; it could be too many Backpacker magazine articles; who knows? There, I said it, it’s out there. If you are going to laugh at me, please do it behind my back.

My love for the outdoors still is strong, though, so I often man up and go hiking anyway. On my most recent hiking trip, I found myself wandering up Mount Rogers, the highest point in Virginia. It was to be my eighth high point completed, and involved the most walking of any high point climbed so far. The walk up is about 4.5 miles, so it’s not hard, unless you compare it the other peaks I have scaled. As I followed the AT near the summit, I was careful to watch for the small fork that kicks off to the actual high point. I found the trail, started the hike up, and as I was nearing the summit, I heard a sound that had to be a mountain lion. I knew it was all over, and seven high points would be all I ever completed.

Now, if I stopped right here and made you all guess what animal I saw as I came out of the thicket, I am guessing most of you probably wouldn’t come close. It was certainly the weirdest animal I have ever seen in the wild. It was a herd of miniature ponies. That’s right, it was straight out of a Disney movie where I next expected some prince would ride in, say something cool, and the ponies would prance off into the sunset.

(The mighty steeds graze with the Blue Ridge Mountains in the background.)

Of course the next thing I wanted to do was jump on one and ride it, because that would only make perfect sense, am I wrong? At the same time, I didn’t earn my pony merit badge, and who’s to say these things are not aggressive. I admit, all logic argues against ponies attacking hikers, but maybe they are like pandas?

I decided to keep my distance and let them do whatever it is ponies do when they are not prancing toward sunsets. I later learned there is an association that cares for them (where do you sign up, I know!), and they are believed to have been left by the miners back in the day. So, if you are ever climbing Mount Rogers, beware of the ponies. I can’t believe I just said that.

Mark Zimmer is climbing to the highest point in all 50 states to raise awareness and money for Alzheimer’s research. Follow his progress here.

It’s the thought that counts, right?

So why bother giving an actual gift anymore, when you can send a friend cyber-flowers on Facebook?

Building on its New York Times-celebrated multimedia campaign, Cloudveil has launched a gift application on the ubiquitous social networking site.

The new cyber gift selection includes Ibuprofen for “When the forecast calls for pain,” Chamois Butter in case “It’s been a while since you’ve been in the saddle,” and Gaper Awards for when “Your mom calls and says to get your sh$%t together.”

The application will run through the holiday season, and new gifts will be added during ski season. Users who send gifts also will be entered to win Cloudveil gear in monthly giveaways in addition to the regular contests that occur on the Cloudveil fan page.

Snicker you may, but these kinds of cyber gifts have become a big business, with sales this year projected to hit $1 billion (for nothing!). But the best part about Cloudveil’s gift line is it’s completely free!

Become a fan of Cloudveil on Facebook, and click on the flower bouquet to get started sending gifts.

The designers at Cloudveil are fast at work developing a new line of high-performance clothing for this sport. The supplex Skootch Pant™ will come in extra-baggy sizes for comfort and style inside the chalet, while the lycra CrotchGrabber™ one-piece is tight and light for the track.

Watch Nordic boarders Joel and Tate get gnar-gnar as they shred the flats.

What the …?

How the…?

I’m not quite sure what happened here. Yesterday morning things were going along as usual. We went for a wonderful ski, I chased the bunnies and came home to a wonderful bowl of kibble. That was when things started change.

They loaded up the truck.

It makes me nervous cause I don’t always get to go. But, this time, I got to pile in the truck and that made me happy.

With my belly full and no new smells, I fell asleep in the back and woke after dark. Supper took place in a truck stop and it was back into the truck. The drive seemed to last a long time and the last section of it was on a bumpy road. Here is where I woke up this morning. On the Marble platform, above Badger rapid, right across the Colorado river from the Navajo Nation.

Mmmmmmm,  Fry bread !!!

One of these folks I have mentioned in a previous post as a cross between Santa and a garden Gnome (Santa-gnome).

Anyhow, at the beginning of each season the patrollers of Snowbowl get to erect snow fencing and boundary line along the perimeter of the ski area.

The work is warm and the snow, well let’s just say skinny and firm.

I was in the shop the other day, molding some Intuition liners for a customer, when who should appear with his snow sopped gear, Santa-gnome!

After the mold, Santa-gnome and I started talking about an upcoming Mountain Culture post subject I’ve been working on (no, not this one) and the following conversation took place:

Santa-gnome: Dude, do you need any sweet shots of people working in their Cloudveil?

Me: Sure, anything you have would be useful.

Santa-gnome: Awesome, I have a few pics of me and P-dawg (another patroller) working in our Koven Bibs up on the hill!

Me: Great, send them my way.

Santa-gnome: They’re kinda of interesting….

Me: Oh, I’m pretty sure whatever you have I can use.

Well, my first clue should have been the subject line of the email: “Snowbowl XXX”

So, here are Santa-gnome and P-dawg getting the fence up….Enjoy!

Hmmm, maybe I should send these photos to a sunscreen company…..

As I prepare to escape the Hole for law school and a more intellectual path, I am struck by a phenomenon that so many Jacksonites have felt over the years: the skiing in these mountains has a gravitational pull comparable to that of our Sun. The sad state of the snowpack this winter has certainly made it easier to think about leaving and locking myself in a library, and after discovering this little marvel there is nothing holding me back.

I mean, skiing has so many risks – ACL tears, frostbite, avalanches, out of control skiers, long lift lines, getting turtled in the backcountry, scary gondola towers, expensive gear, a 300-inch winter and crowded parking lots.

With this new machine, I can avoid all these risks and be the skier I always knew I could be.** Without people in my way, unpredictable weather and expensive gear, I would have been Bode Miller.

And now I can be both badass on the slopes and in the courtroom.

I can wear a suit to workout in or tennis shoes that match my new machine.

And, while it’s about as expensive as a season pass to Jackson Hole, the lifetime use, the comfort and the stories that will emerge from this machine that I can tell my law buddies in the bar will far outweigh staying in this place with majestic, cold mountains and beautiful shiny new tram cars.

One day, maybe I could even take my inside skiing skills abroad to the what looks like the best place to ski indoors: The Desert. But, that’s for another post.

**According to the German Pro-Idee site, the ski simulator was designed with the help of ski instructors, sport scientists and physical therapists. The device simulates near accurate motions exactly similar to the real sport. It will “vibrate, rotate, tilt – exactly like a real ski descent.” Even the set of ski poles is an integral part of the simulation. With the Alpine Ski Racing 2007 software, you can ski in 32 different races at 18 different venues, including Beaver Creek and Chamonix. You can try six different races in three different divisions at three different levels. The money you save on plane fares, equipment and lessons alone should motivate you to buy this wonder machine. It’s like Wii for the hardcore.

Peter Griffin lives on a couch near Snow King.

I’ve been with Nick on photo shoots, have skied with him personally and watched him do things on teles that during my short three year stint of freeing the heel, I didn’t think could be done.

We sat Nick down this Fall to hear his favorite tele one liners and mixed it up with some of the latest footage of him from Powderwhore. Nick always has an easygoing, laid back attitude, so I don’t think he takes offense to the “telemarking is stupid” bumper stickers, he just shuts it down with some exceptional skiing.

Not so.

At least, not so for those hoping to commune with nature through flyfishing in North America.

According to the British fly fishing site “The English Fly Fishing Shop,” fly fishermen visiting the states could die in the wilds and never come home.

Here is the introduction to the cautionary page (click here then scroll to the bottom of the page for the entire WARNING):

What are you talking about I hear you say. This guy has gone mad. He has been fishing in the sun too long. I am very serious. Non Americans fishing in America are in danger of being killed or of being seriously injured. There are hazards like bears, alligators, stingrays, poison ivy, hunters with guns and monster sharks that can cause you harm if not fatal damage. The locals know of the dangers and take steps to try and avoid being hurt. Here in Britain there are no dangerous animals to interrupt a great days fishing. I hope to help you have a safe fishing vacation by providing you with knowledge you need to avoid the pit falls of fly fishing in the America Continent.

The author later goes on to detail those hazards. His list includes sharks, jellyfish, warm seawater bacterium, coral rocks & shells and mountain lions, to name a few.

Maybe because I live in a place populated by mountain lions and bison and elk, or maybe just because the warning is so outrageous, one of my favorite highlights from the warning is about elk:

ELK
American Elk are mostly benign but in the autumn, it’s rutting season and male elk are getting combative, “bugling” to attract mates and deter lustful opponents, just at the same time you might be stalking giant 15 pound, 30 inch brown trout as they spawn in America’s numerous public access rivers. It’s also hunting season in America, so you should wear blaze orange if you are out fishing in the wilderness. The wearing of silly fur hats with antlers is strongly discouraged here! In certain American “wilderness areas” you could find yourself in the middle of a herd of 1,000 or more elk as they migrate through your favorite fishing hole. Simply remain calm, don’t make any sudden movements, and for God’s sake don’t apply any commercially-available “elk rut scent” behind your ears! A bull elk agitated by the rut might get the wrong idea about your intentions, and the results (and surgery bills) could be tragic.

I don’t know if I should laugh or just stare in wonder at this warning.

If the author is serious, and I’m still guessing, one interesting result of the warning creeks and rivers of the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem and beyond will be devoid British accents and full of grizzly-fighting, coral-wrangling North American hard men.